This term [edge of chaos] describes the fine line between stability and chaos where
innovation and survival are most likely to take place. As a way to think about
these regimes, consider what form H2O takes in each. In the frozen regime, it
would be ice. In the stable regime, it would be water. In the chaotic regime, it
would be steam.Organizations and economies also operate in these three
regimes. In the frozen regime, no information gets transferred and no activity
takes place, so it is impossible to adapt. In the chaotic regime, information
and change takes place so fast that nothing is stable enough to retain its
identity. In the stable regime, there is a regular rhythm of activity in which
identity is retained but adaptation to changing conditions is slow. While humans
may favor stability, nature favors the line between stability and chaos (edge of
chaos) because it is here that constant adaptation goes on which allows an
organism to survive over the long run.
I think this is a great illustration for our lives as believers. "Frozen" believers are so stuck on the way things "used to be" that they miss what the Lord wants to do in their lives today. "Stable" believers typically are good church-going people. I believe this characterizes the majority of the Church today. They are satisfied with where their lives are and where they are in their relationship with the Lord. Herein lies the problem though. Any spiritual growth is marginal and they don't want the Lord to disrupt their happy lives. The "chaotic" believers follow every whim of emotion not bothering to consider if this new course is actually the Lord's will or not.
In the same way that most people prefer a safe and stable environment Christians prefer a safe, predictable, and stable relationship with the Lord. However, it seems to me, that the Lord desires that we live on the "edge of chaos" where we are constantly on the look out for the Lord to move in our life, are willing to be obedient, and yet we carefully consider if the new direction or activity is His will (through reading His word, prayer, consultation with other mature believers, etc). This reminds me of the description of Aslan in C.S. Lewis' "Chronicles of Narnia": "Aslan is a good lion but not a tame lion". The Lord is good but is not concerned whether or not we feel comfortable. His desire is to shape our character to line up with His and will take whatever means necessary to ensure that His purposes are accomplished.
So, what does this have to do with our family? Well, we had begun to settle down into a comfortable place. We bought a home, I have a good job that allows my wife to stay at home, we are getting involved in our church, and we are making friends. About a month ago this started to be flipped upside down. I received news from my work that I needed to begin searching for new employment. My position is very political and the circumstances have yet to all be worked out so I'm not giving a lot of detail at this time. Suffice to say that I have not done anything wrong but the powers that be desire for someone else to be in my position. They have allowed me to stay here while we chart a new course but the actual amount of time I have is uncertain. My current job is not in an area that I have desired to pursue as a career. I have desired to attend seminary for quite some time but the timing (in my eyes) never seemed right. As a result of all that has happened we believe the Lord is now leading us to begin seminary.
This decision has not come easily. There are a lot of uncertainties right now (how will we make it financially, will Christy be able to stay home, etc) but we are confident that the Lord will make a way and provide for us. We are at a place in life that if the Lord does not come through then we may not make it. That is a scary yet strangely safe place to be. The words of Hudson Taylor come to mind, "Either the Lord is Lord of ALL; or not Lord at all".
We are currently in the process of applying to seminary and are making plans to begin classes at the end of January. Beyond that we have no idea what the Lord will do in our lives. That pretty much brings the events of the past few months up to date. I have lots more on my mind that I want to post but I feel this posting is long enough. I don't intend for every post to be this long but since I am essentially writing my thoughts then who knows what will come out.
Thank you for reading and being a part of our journey.
