The Pursuit of God

"The modern scientist has lost God amid the wonders of His world; we Christians are in real danger of losing God amid the wonders of His Word." - A.W. Tozer, in "The Pursuit of God"

I have had the wonderful opportunity to sit under some tremendous bible teachers. These men have given me the tools for a lifetime of study and enjoyment of His Word and I am eternally grateful for that. However, I am beginning to realize that in my quest for knowledge I've forgotten what I'm supposed to be looking for. My quest should be for the knowledge of God's heart and His ways. The study of His word should have this end in sight. Those who have taught me continually impressed this upon me but I fear that I have too often stopped short of this goal by being satisfied with learning mere facts.

For example, just today I was reading 2 Kings 8 and discovered that King Ahaziah of Judah is the nephew of King Jehoram of Israel. While interesting it does not increase my understanding of God's heart. Realizing that Ahaziah's mother, Athalia (King Jehoram's sister and daughter of King Ahab and Jezebel) introduced Baal worship to Judah is another "factoid" that used to excite me. Knowing all of this is not a bad thing and can be useful in the pursuit of God (eg. understanding how jealous God is with His people and how much He abhors idol worship), but I had previously made the discovery of these facts the end goal of my study.

The Lord has graciously given me extra time over these next few months to read, study, and pray. I am determined that I will keep the pursuit of God's heart and His ways as my chief end. I want to see people as the Lord sees them. I want to view life from the Lord's perspective. I want to trust Him without being plagued with doubting thoughts. I don't quite know where this will take me but I pray that the Lord honors my desire. I will close with a quotation of a prayer in A.W. Tozer's book, "The Pursuit of God".

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen."

God is Working

God began to visibly move again in our situation on September 19, 2007. I say again because He started moving us out of my job and into seminary back in May. We then went through a period of almost four months where it seemed the Lord was not at work at all. However, through that time we persevered in prayer (though not as consistently as I would have liked). It seemed as if nothing was happening. Nobody mentioned anything about my performance, what I should be doing, when I was leaving, etc. Every day at work there was this large elephant in the room that nobody would talk about. I decided that I would pray that the Lord would move in the situation instead of pressuring for an answer.

That finally happened on Sept. 19th.

Though I can't go into detail here, I am very thankful that my employer has agreed to allow me a generous time of transition for our move.

There is one more part of the story which, I think, makes it even richer. Christy and I had been really wavering about our decision to go to seminary in NC but decided that we would follow through with the application and see what the Lord did. I mailed the final pieces of the application off on the morning of Sept. 19th and only a few short hours later I found out about my new working arrangement. I believe God honored our faithfulness!

I had considered finding a part-time/temporary job from October until we left in December but Christy and I have decided against that pursuit. I want to spend as much time at home with my family as possible over the next several months because I know that once I start seminary my time at home will be much more limited. I have also desperately wanted more time to read and pray than I had before. This has been a large step of faith for me because my natural inclination would be to store up as much money as possible due to the fact that I have no idea what awaits us in North Carolina. I must trust that the Lord will honor my decision to put my family above trying to create a sense of security. I know the Lord will not fail us and that our needs will be met.

So, what have I learned thus far? I've learned that God REALLY does answer prayers and prayer can move men to act...even if they have no regard for the Lord. I've learned, again, that even when God does not seem to be at work, He is. I'm learning, over and over, to be patient and wait on the Lord. In a bible study that Christy is working through it said that no place in Scripture does God tell someone to hurry and make a decision. If we are feeling pressured to make a quick decision or spontaneously choose something that could have a lasting impact on our lives then we need to pull back and realize that we are probably rushing ahead of the Lord.

I continue to learn a great deal and will post more about what the Lord is teaching me in future posts.

By the way, I received my letter of acceptance to Southeastern Baptist seminary on October 1st. Christy and I are going to visit the campus at the end of the month and hope to have a clearer picture of what the housing options are and when we will make the move.