Now that word is spreading regarding our decision to go to seminary in the spring I am consistently being asked two questions: One, "Are you excited?" and second, "So, what are you planning to be?".
The amount and frequency of these questions are encouraging but I honestly don't know how to respond. I am excited but not the "I can't wait until Christmas" kind of excitement. I'm excited about seeing the Lord provide for us and about starting school but these feelings are tempered by (at times) an anxiousness regarding the whole process. I suppose I am excited but have not yet experienced the emotions of excitement...if that makes sense.
I wonder if David experienced the emotions of excitement when he was anointed as king by Samuel or was he overwhelmed by the awesomeness of the responsibility? Did he battle thoughts of inadequacy (...I'm just a shepherd and the youngest in my family...who am I to lead God's people)? I've not been anointed a king but I believe that accepting a call into vocational ministry carries the same weight of responsibility and requires perhaps even more dependency upon the Lord. Through this process I'm coming to realize that an acceptance of my personal inadequacy are necessary to be used of God. I don't even pretend to have the skills or infectious personality many with a worldly view of church leadership believe are required for success, but I do have a complete trust that if I continually submit myself to the Lord and allow Him to express His Life through me then I can mightily be used of God.
So, what am I planning to be? In short, I don't know.
I don't know what the next step beyond seminary will be. I have no delusions of grandeur of becoming a pastor of a mega-church complete with book deals and a large staff. I know there are churches of all sizes that honestly seek to follow the Lord. I also know there are churches of all sizes who won't offend their membership by teaching truths that are difficult to swallow in fear that a large portion of their "giving base" would leave. Please understand, these are generalizations and are not referring to any person or church in particular.
My goal in ministry, as I stated on my application to seminary, is to teach sound biblical truths in such a way that the listener leaves with a greater desire to know the heart of the Father. I know that in the process of accomplishing this goal I will offend people (I sincerely hope that it is the Word of God that offends and not the delivery!) so I don't expect to ever have a very "large" ministry...at least in number but I do pray that it is large in effectiveness.
In one sense I believe I am called to be a missionary to churches. As a whole, churches today do not teach biblical truth, they are not completely dependent on God for their finances, they are too "busy", etc. I could go on but I hope you see my point. Now, I know there are exceptions, and I am grateful for those exceptions, but that's what they are...exceptions. The church in America can never hope to be fully used of God nor reach her full potential until we stop trying to be another community recreational center or country club and get back to the basics of training people in the ways of God! I will stop here because I don't intend for this to be a rant but I do desire for the Lord to use my life as another example of what can happen when someone totally surrenders to the Father and allows Him to direct all areas of their life, work, and family.
If you are reading this and have been one of the many people to offer these two comments to me please know that I sincerely appreciate them. You have been very encouraging to me and my family as we are embarking on this journey!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
The Mystery of God's Will
First of all this post is in no way a review, critique, or affiliated in any other way with Chuck Swindoll's book by the same title. I have listened to it (via audiobook) and highly recommend it. Nevertheless, this post does deal with the same topic of how do we discern God's will.
This subject has always intrigued and, at times, troubled me. In light of our station in life this subject has been on the forefront of my mind. What is involved in discerning the will of God? How do we know if we've found it? Is it like the advice you always hear regarding how to know if you are in love (i.e. you just know)? Is it a proper display of faith to, like Gideon, lay out "fleeces"? Or, is it much simpler? Does God shape our desires to conform to His as we grow in intimacy with Him? If that is the case then does God show us His will simply by giving us a desire to do something? Of course, this assumes that an individual's relationship with the Lord is healthy.
I have realized that too often I wait for a weird feeling in my stomach, chills down my spine, or some other tangible indication. However, I am coming to the realization that while God may, at times, provide such a sensation it is not necessarily an indication of His will (it could just be that burrito talking back!). I believe that the Lord has given us minds for a reason and intends that we use them (Is. 1:18 ). So perhaps the Lord allows us to logically think through an issue, ensuring that it does not violate His word, and make a decision.
There are a couple of truths related to the character of God that comfort me in the process of discerning His will. First, I know the Lord is not trying to hide from me. He does not send me on a scavenger hunt to find Him. However, He often delays (though is never late) in giving clarity to an issue. One reason for this is that He desires we pursue Him, His heart, and an understanding of His ways more than to know what the next turn in life should be.
Second, we are not on a performance based acceptance with Him. This is comforting because I know that even if I were to choose something that was not in His will that He will not abandon me. He will discipline me when necessary but I believe that if I have honestly sought Him in the matter that He will lovingly direct me back on course. I realize this begs the question that if I have honestly sought Him is it possible to choose something that is not His will?
Third, we have the Holy Spirit in us to guide and direct our paths and can orchestrate circumstances to keep us from choosing a path that is not the Lord's will. Again, this assumes we are not walking in rebellion and are honestly seeking the Lord. If this is not the case then we have a whole other set of issues to work through.
So, how does this relate back to our decision to attend seminary? Well, we have (and continue to) honestly sought the Lord's will in this decision. I have not had an emotional or tangible indication that we have made the right decision but I think the Lord may be telling me to make a decision in faith based on what I know about Him and His character without relying on any physical sensation. The primary thought processes I have gone through in this decision are:
I have had a desire to go to seminary for several years
I love to study scripture and I love to learn
Spending concentrated time in His word and learning from seasoned believers is not contrary to scripture and will be benefical
No other opportunities have presented themselves
There is not another profession or field that hold any interest to me. Financial counseling is interesting to me but I believe the Lord will, one day, incorporate that into any ministry He opens for me.
When I consider the question, "What would I do if money were not an issue?" the answer is always to attend seminary.
I believe that I would live with a regret if I did not pursue a seminary education. It may be that the Lord's life's work for me will not require a seminary education but if I don't pursue it then I know I will always wonder "what if..."
These are just some of the reasons that I believe the Lord's next step for us is to attend seminary. We continue to pray for the Lord to provide a tangible confirmation that we are heading in the right direction but if we don't receive one then I have to trust that He will honor our sincere quest to walk in obedience to His will and will direct us in the right direction.
I have no idea what step will come next. I don't expect the Lord to one day just open my eyes to what is ahead for the rest of my life. If He did then I know I would be tempted to try and work things out in my own strength to make it happen and would not rely on the Lord to get me there. In that case I would receive the glory for finding God's will rather than He receive the glory for leading me into His will.
Well, in case you ever wondered what it was like inside my head (and I doubt that anyone has except for maybe my wife) then you just got a snapshot. Pretty scary, huh?
Thank you for continuing to pray for us!
This subject has always intrigued and, at times, troubled me. In light of our station in life this subject has been on the forefront of my mind. What is involved in discerning the will of God? How do we know if we've found it? Is it like the advice you always hear regarding how to know if you are in love (i.e. you just know)? Is it a proper display of faith to, like Gideon, lay out "fleeces"? Or, is it much simpler? Does God shape our desires to conform to His as we grow in intimacy with Him? If that is the case then does God show us His will simply by giving us a desire to do something? Of course, this assumes that an individual's relationship with the Lord is healthy.
I have realized that too often I wait for a weird feeling in my stomach, chills down my spine, or some other tangible indication. However, I am coming to the realization that while God may, at times, provide such a sensation it is not necessarily an indication of His will (it could just be that burrito talking back!). I believe that the Lord has given us minds for a reason and intends that we use them (Is. 1:18 ). So perhaps the Lord allows us to logically think through an issue, ensuring that it does not violate His word, and make a decision.
There are a couple of truths related to the character of God that comfort me in the process of discerning His will. First, I know the Lord is not trying to hide from me. He does not send me on a scavenger hunt to find Him. However, He often delays (though is never late) in giving clarity to an issue. One reason for this is that He desires we pursue Him, His heart, and an understanding of His ways more than to know what the next turn in life should be.
Second, we are not on a performance based acceptance with Him. This is comforting because I know that even if I were to choose something that was not in His will that He will not abandon me. He will discipline me when necessary but I believe that if I have honestly sought Him in the matter that He will lovingly direct me back on course. I realize this begs the question that if I have honestly sought Him is it possible to choose something that is not His will?
Third, we have the Holy Spirit in us to guide and direct our paths and can orchestrate circumstances to keep us from choosing a path that is not the Lord's will. Again, this assumes we are not walking in rebellion and are honestly seeking the Lord. If this is not the case then we have a whole other set of issues to work through.
So, how does this relate back to our decision to attend seminary? Well, we have (and continue to) honestly sought the Lord's will in this decision. I have not had an emotional or tangible indication that we have made the right decision but I think the Lord may be telling me to make a decision in faith based on what I know about Him and His character without relying on any physical sensation. The primary thought processes I have gone through in this decision are:
I have had a desire to go to seminary for several years
I love to study scripture and I love to learn
Spending concentrated time in His word and learning from seasoned believers is not contrary to scripture and will be benefical
No other opportunities have presented themselves
There is not another profession or field that hold any interest to me. Financial counseling is interesting to me but I believe the Lord will, one day, incorporate that into any ministry He opens for me.
When I consider the question, "What would I do if money were not an issue?" the answer is always to attend seminary.
I believe that I would live with a regret if I did not pursue a seminary education. It may be that the Lord's life's work for me will not require a seminary education but if I don't pursue it then I know I will always wonder "what if..."
These are just some of the reasons that I believe the Lord's next step for us is to attend seminary. We continue to pray for the Lord to provide a tangible confirmation that we are heading in the right direction but if we don't receive one then I have to trust that He will honor our sincere quest to walk in obedience to His will and will direct us in the right direction.
I have no idea what step will come next. I don't expect the Lord to one day just open my eyes to what is ahead for the rest of my life. If He did then I know I would be tempted to try and work things out in my own strength to make it happen and would not rely on the Lord to get me there. In that case I would receive the glory for finding God's will rather than He receive the glory for leading me into His will.
Well, in case you ever wondered what it was like inside my head (and I doubt that anyone has except for maybe my wife) then you just got a snapshot. Pretty scary, huh?
Thank you for continuing to pray for us!
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